Bringing the snark back to snacking

Bringing the snark back to snacking
Lots of things taste better than being thin feels:
A gooey, cheesy, greasy pizza
A chocolate eclair
Ice cream and gelato
Movie theatre popcorn with extra butter
What's yours?

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Clean Eating is Not Okay


This is a response to a Tumblr post disparaging the idea of clean eating. Take a minute to read through the original posts. I'm going to respond to this here and on my Tumblr, because there's a lot that I want to say about this post. First I want to say that I hear you, and I thank everyone above for sharing their thoughts.

A little background about me, because that will frame where I'm coming from: I grew up middle class and never had to worry about missing a meal. I've been overweight since elementary school. I made less than $10,000 last year (thanks, taxes, for bringing that disappointing fact to light), but I am fortunate to have a family that gives me support when I need it, including groceries. I am a 34-year-old white, Jewish, queer woman, with all the privileges/baggage that brings. I spent most of my 20s eating Lean Cuisine/Smart Ones/diet frozen foods, and it wasn't until I was 30 and moved to France that I realized I had no idea how to eat properly without frozen foods or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I was 30 years old with no idea how to feed myself real food.

I am currently a supporter of the Clean Eating "trend," and let me tell you why. Because I like eating whole foods. Because I like knowing what the fuck all the ingredients are in everything I eat. Because it actually forces me to eat more vegetables (ashamed to admit I've gone DAYS in the past without anything green). Because it goes along nicely with the idea of eating local – most things I find at the farmer's market (and I'm lucky that Tucson has at least two every day somewhere in the metro city area) are not going to have preservatives or artificial additives. Because I actually feel more connected to my food if I know what each individual ingredient is. Because I don't like restricting or calorie counting because it triggers disordered eating. Because I have found it affordable: there are clean grocery lists for Safeway and Trader Joe's, and they're easily transferable to your favorite cheap/discount grocery store. I never shop at Whole Foods, because I can't afford it. I can afford Trader Joe's and Safeway, and I'm privileged to be able to do so.

I, personally – and really this is all personal opinion only, that should go without saying –, have never thought of not clean eating as "dirty eating." I am not judging what you eat. Here's a secret, and I'm sorry to let you down, but I am not judging what you eat. I don't care what you eat. I don't have time for that. I'm trying to stay mentally and physically healthy and yet still sometimes counting calories and creating a detailed meal plan two weeks in advance, and I'm exhausted. I don't have time to care about your food, too. What you eat is just not important to me, I'm sorry. Was it supposed to be? I hope not. (You will see me snark on my blog when people come in to my coffee shop and order a sugar-free mocha with 20 pumps sugar free syrup, 10 splendas, non-fat milk, and extra whipped cream. I'm a believer in go-all or go-none. Whipped cream AND whole milk AND sugar syrup! So yes, I am shaking my head when that cup comes through my line, but I'm not thinking "And I bet she eats crappy food too!" I'm really not. I'm making the next drink. Because I just do not have time in my life to care what you eat).

Therefore, I never saw the clean eating movement as indicating any kind of moral/orthodox scale for foods. I do hear what is being said above about the connotations of calling it "clean" eating, and I respect those points and will happily call it "unprocessed" eating or "whole foods" eating from here on out. Food is food is food in that it's all digestible (except that Olean stuff, and what the fuck is that? I have anal leakage nightmares) and everyone's body can pick what it needs from it. My casserole made from whole ingredients is not any better or worse morally than someone else's bacon cheeseburger. It doesn't make me a better person, and it doesn't make them a terrible person. It makes us different people.

I'm not sure where the anger is coming from regarding food choices. As I said, I'm neither making your choices for you or caring what choice you make. If you want to choose the butter/cake/50-year lifespan, DO IT. Also, mmmm….cake. Also, my eating clean/unprocessed food is not removing this choice from your daily plate. You can choose to eat whatever the hell you want everyday, and more power to you, and I can understand being angry at the society that tells us all, every day, that we need to be on a diet. I'm angry at diets too. It's okay. I get really triggered and ranty when I see someone on my dash saying, "Oh no, I had two sweets this week, now I can't have any more sweets for two weeks!" because that, to me, is not how clean unprocessed/whole foods eating works. I like to pair it with intuitive eating, and sometimes my intuition wants a damn pizza. But I try and live by the 80/20 rule, where 80% of the time I'm eating whole/unprocessed and 20% of the time I'll have a nice, greasy pizza. So if we changed the name, with the same principles, would it be less of an issue? Some of the above responses sound angry that I won't fry a potato in canola or vegetable oil (although I will in EVOO or coconut oil, and yum!). I thought it was my choice? What I choose to eat for myself is never, ever imposed upon anyone else. My food philosophy does not invalidate your food philosophy just because they're different.



In fact, Tiffany from The Gracious Pantry, one of the best sites for clean unprocessed/whole foods eating recently admitted that she's been eating this way for four years, and she's still overweight. Does that make her a failure? Does that make the way of eating a failure? I say absolutely not. She still feels better, healthier, and has more energy than when she ate junk. I know I feel a million times better eating unprocessed/whole foods than I do eating overly-preserved convenience foods. I like how it makes me feel. I don't know how it makes you feel. I know low-carb makes me constantly nauseated to the point where I just stop eating. But I'm not mad at everyone who eats low-carb just because it makes me feel like shit.

Basically – the rest of society is hard enough on us, so can't we all just get along? Here, have some coconut flour pancakes. Let's break whole wheat bread together and clear the air.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

This is My Reminder to Myself

Dear Penny,

YOU CANNOT DO LOW-CARB. You just can't. You keep trying, and everytime you go "Oh yeah, I can't do this. Fuck."

Seriously, I think, "This time I'm gonna get it right!" Nope, want to throw up and die.

I lasted two and a half days this last round. I was even tracking to make sure I was getting around 50 carbs a day! Even so, my body just CANNOT handle that much protein. Or something. Because I nearly threw up eating my egg casserole and turkey bacon this morning, which I normally enjoy.

An acquaintance of mine (internet only, even though we used to live in the same town) has had great success on a low-carb diet, and that's great for her. She posted her Pinterest board of low-carb recipes, and I read them and thought, "Sure, I can eat that!' Except not exclusively, because I get to the point where I cannot eat any more low-carb food and then I'm at 800 calories for the day, and that's bad. Seriously, it makes me want to just stop eating altogether.

THIS IS MY REMINDER TO MYSELF. STOP TRYING LOW CARB. YOU'RE WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME.

Back to my perfectly acceptable goal of eating clean -- working to completely eliminate processed foods. And there's certainly a place for those low-carb recipes within that way of eating. I do want to eat less sugars. I just need fruit and oatmeal and whole wheat bread and peanut butter in my life. And that's okay.