Everything You Know is Wrong

I am becoming increasingly more and more cranky about counting calories. Mostly because it doesn't really seem to be helping. 1200 or 1800 calories, either way I'm not seeing a difference. When I stopped eating for a month after the breakup, I definitely noticed weight loss in my clothes. But as I healed and regained my appetite, no amount of restricting seems to be helping; I'm exercising 3-5 times a week, but my belly feels bigger than ever and my underwear isn't as loose as it was in December.

So when I read this article on Jezebel the other day, I really wanted to set fire to the My Fitness Pal app (except that would really just involve destroying my phone, and I like my phone). It's gotten to where I really don't even bother reading most health articles any more. Fat is good! Fat is bad! Carbs are good! Carbs are bad! Calories are everything! Calories are meaningless!

You know what I like to do? I like to try and follow Clean Eating and the 80/20 rule. If I'm eating clean -- no preservatives, no artificial ingredients, no or less white flour/sugars -- and then I eat a cheese danish or something every now and then, I'm pretty happy. Maybe it's not reflecting any weight loss for me yet, but I feel healthier now than I ever did when I was eating Lean Cuisines and 100-calorie packs every single damn day. That's another danger with calorie counting -- would I rather have this healthy thing for 120 calories or this pack of crap for 100 calories? Crap it is!

I have just this past week started calorie counting again, but really just to get an idea of where I'm at at the end of the day. Eating intuitively -- ice cream if I want it, but not binging; stopping when I feel full -- I come in right between 1500 and 2000 calories (plus exercise). Now, eating variety is something I still need to work on. I still default to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and triscuits and cheese when I can't decide what I want to eat.

I never thought it possible, but I do binge less when I'm eating intuitively! Not gonna lie, it took a while and a lot of pizzas to get there. Eventually I realized, when I can have everything, I don't want it any more. A pint of Ben and Jerry's now lasts over a week in my house. Turns out I only wanted a few bites. An entire box of Trader Joe's spinach and artichoke dip disappears in an afternoon. And it's okay. I'm okay.

Pizza is my BFF.

Quick way to drop 200+ pounds!

HEY!

Since I last blogged, I've been lucky enough to shed 220 pounds! It was so easy! All I had to do was dump my cheating, abusive boyfriend. As anyone with quick weight loss results knows, it's easy to gain those pounds back and then some, and there have definitely been days when I've been sad or lonely and missing that 220 pound lump of man hair that always left his clothes on the floor and never cleaned the kitchen. But I've stayed strong in my resolve, and I know I'm never taking him back or getting involved with anyone who doesn't respect me. Now let's just apply that resolve to eating healthy, because basically consistently eating crap isn't respecting myself, and what kind of role model am I for a future potential mate if they see I don't have any self-respect?

Note: I'm not saying I'm not respecting myself because I'm overweight. I'm saying it because I'm choosing to eat nothing but unhealthy foods and no vegetables for days on end. I'd rather be eating healthy and fat than eating crap and thin. That's why I no longer eat Lean Cuisines or processed diet junk. Now THAT is disrespecting your body!!

A few things coming up for this blog:

• A monthly challenge we can work on together
• VLOGS! See my fat face talking to you!
• ACTUAL POSTS. Because for realz, I need to keep up with this space.

Here's some snark: Someone today at my coffee shop ordered a sugar-free, non-fat latte in a size-larger cup with EXTRA whipped cream.  YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.