Vacation

 

 

 

An idyllic lunch.

Boyfriend and I spent the weekend at a local resort in celebration of our one-year anniversary together. It was a vacation, and I ate without tracking points.

I'm not the type to say, "Well, I'm on vacation, but dieting, so I'll just have a salad and water." I think, "I'm on vacation, and there are some award-winning pastries to be eaten!" This isn't to say that all efforts towards health go out the window, but I love food. If I have a chance to taste something I probably won't get a chance to taste again, I want to eat it. I believe in Eating to Live and Loving Life. It's the reason horribly restrictive diets don't work well for me (South Beach, Atkins, anything saying NO). If you tell me I can never have a piece of cake again, well I'd rather just stay fat.

I did exercise; I earned 31 Activity Points for the week, which is the most I've been able to earn so far. Friday morning I ran, and then we swam at night. Saturday we went on a 4.5 mile hike in the canyon during the hottest part of the day and swam at night, and Sunday I swam laps in the morning. This is all more physical activity than I've been able to keep up in a long time, and I want to keep it going! They say it takes 21 days to make a habit, so I'm trying to work out for 21 days in a row. Seven days down, 14 to go!

Question

How many Points is it if I share my Laughing Cow with my cat?

You gonna eat all that?

I tried telling her I needed every precious calorie, but she was rather insistent.

Shooting Myself in the Foot

Yesterday was the first day I ate "on plan" since last Monday.  Today I weighed myself. In one week, I did 5 pounds worth of damage to my body and my progress. I know I can't beat myself up over this, or I'll just repeat the cycle, but at this point I fear I'll never get out of the binge/diet routine. I've gotten out of it in the past...for years even.

I like to eat. I like food. I enjoy going out to local restaurants. But there's a balance that I'm clearly missing. I can't keep going between EAT ALL THE THING and EAT NOTHING. Research has clearly shown yo-yo dieting is seriously harmful to the body.


Here I am, back on plan again. I'm taking this one day at a time. Yesterday I was good, I even exercised. Today I have been good. One day at a time.

Have you heard of Fitocracy? It's an awesome new website that gives you points for each workout you do. You earn achievements and can "level up" just like a game. Last night I ran/walked and earned 66 points. Almost to level 2! Working out is definitely more fun when there's incentives :-)

Trying to Catch Up with the Wagon

This week I did something not-so-bright. I entered Tucson's Cake Bake-Off contest on Tuesday. This involved baking 30 tres leches cupcakes on Monday. Tres leches cupcakes involving sweetened condensed milk. I had too many tablespoon tastes.


Then at the event itself, there were CAKES. Cakes to TASTE. I had to taste cakes.

And it's been a quick slip from one or two bad days to, well I may as well eat everything. The worst part? I didn't even win the contest!

We had pizza the other night, and instead of counting Points on it and limiting myself to two slices, I ate four. And then I had heartburn. I realized, I've been feeling really good since I've been eating right and exercising -- I've had natural energy and no heartburn or sick stomach. I've been hungry and sleepy, but that's the worst of it. There really is something to this healthy eating thing.

The wagon is rolling down a hill, and I'm trying to catch up with it. What are your tips or suggestions for getting back after a binge?

Monday Weigh In: Week Four

Lost another two pounds this week. I was hoping for more, but I know two pounds is a good rate. 23 more to go!

I'm just waiting for my clothes to start fitting better. My large shorts are getting a little loose, but that's really the only difference I've noticed. I still won't be able into most of the clothes I own until I lose another seven pounds.

Did I mention I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding in five weeks? FIVE WEEKS. I am buckling down and working hard. My goal this week is to burn 20 Activity Points (4-5 days of workouts).

Speaking of workouts, Zumba today. There was a new girl that I felt really sorry for. Zumba is hard when you first start out, trying to catch up with the choreography and figure out the moves, plus keeping abs and glutes tight the whole time. This poor girl had absolutely zero rhythm. Even with a simple step-touch, she was all out of synch.

Then another woman came in, dressed in a cutesy little workout outfit and a full face of makeup. EXCUSE ME? I'm sorry, did you just show up to Zumba in FULL MAKEUP? What the fuck, lady. You are not impressing anyone. You're just going to look like a clown when you sweat all that off, and you will sweat. Even if you do the routines at low-impact, it's still a workout. I barely brush my hair to workout. Put on a bandana, and I'm ready to move.

It's tough to keep up the motivation to keep exercising, and I'm always surprised at how good I feel at the end of a workout. Today it's already 11:15am, and I've burned 1500 calories. What have YOU done today to move towards a healthier lifestyle?

How do you break the binge eating cycle?

This is a perfectly valid question being asked on the Weight Watchers Online Message Boards. I'm fighting the urge to binge every day, and I've been "on points" for eight days now.  

I want...
I want cupcakes. I want ice cream. I want a big breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes and eggs. I want to be able to eat something without worrying about the points.

Last Friday we went to a self-serve frozen yogurt place that's new in town. Thanks to Hungry Girl's tips on these places, I was able to calculate the points before leaving the house. I portioned one cup of yogurt into my giant cup, two tablespoons of marachino cherries, one tablespoon of cheesecake bites and two tablespoons of hot fudge. It was a large meals worth of points, but I hadn't touched my Weekly Points for the week, so it was fine. It was SO GOOD, and really satisfied my craving for an ice cream sundae. Yeah, it's still junk food, but it was an appropriate portion size and I tracked with my Weekly Points instead of just giving up and giving in.

Tip: If you fill this cup, it's probably a days worth of Points.

The problem I have is when I see people on the boards say "Oh, I know, binging is such a problem for me! I never use my Weekly Points. Today I had 15 nilla wafers [approximately 8 points]; I'm such a pig!"

Seriously? This is not a binge. Call me when you've gone through a half gallon of amaretto cherry cordial.

First of all, if your "binge" is 15 nilla wafers, then I don't know how you got fat in the first place. For most of us a binge is not counted; it's out of control eating and then you look back and go, "Whoa, what did I just do??"

Second, WHY AREN'T YOU EATING YOUR WEEKLY POINTS?! I'm not saying eat all of them, or even to eat when you aren't hungry. But 29 daily points is approximately 1,100 calories (hard to pinpoint since points don't take calories into account). That is really low. On the old plan, I ate around 1,500 calories a day. The Weekly Points are there to supplement the daily points. They're not shameful. You're not cooler or holier-than-thou because you don't eat them. You're just setting yourself up for a plateau as your body clings to every last bit of calories and fat you give it.

Some of the folks on the boards can be very competitive...trying to out-do each other with how little they can eat. I know this is not good Weight Watchers policy and they don't condone it, but they do make it easy for people to fall into a destructive eating spiral. If you have a genuine fear of eating all your daily points, or touching your weekly points, I urge you to go to a meeting or talk with a nutritionist or specialist.

Healthy eating is not all or nothing. We don't need to be afraid of food.

Monday Weigh In: Week Three

I weighed in this morning and discovered I lost four pounds! Four down, 24 to go. I noticed yesterday that my "fat" shorts were feeling loose as I was jumping around on the Dance Dance Revolution pad. I was even able to eat almost "normally" over the weekend thanks to my Weekly Points, going to get frozen yogurt, spaghetti and meat sauce, and pizza.

I worked out five days last week, and I feel like that's a good number. The body really does need a day or two of rest, although I might add some strength training on those days. Shooting for five days of workouts this week, if my body will let me...

I dutifully got up at 7:30am to go to Zumba class this morning. Fine, no problems. As soon as I get there, I realize my right knee is hurting. I did the whole class, but at low intensity. When I got home my knee was swollen, so now I'm elevating it and alternating between ice and hot packs. Boyfriend has been very helpful getting me food and packs and drinks. I'm going to have to eat the broccoli and cheese pack that's been melting on my knee for the last hour.

Speaking of drinks, I haven't had any alcohol in a week. I'm as shocked as you are. Especially since I have Caramel Bailey's in my fridge. So much wine, left undrunk! It's a crying shame. But until I get into the next level of 10s, I'm not going to drink my calories. Sorry, Caramel Bailey's. You're just going to have to sit in the fridge and be delicious by yourself.

Product Review Tuesday: Trader Joe's Mini Cones - 2 WW PP

Oh. My. God.

If you're looking for a quick, low-point chocolate fix, look no further. The chocolate Mini Cones from Trader Joe's are the best diet snack I've found.

They're tiny, so they're not going to be very filling. But if you're just craving chocolate now, now, NOW, this will silence that craving. The chocolate shell is rich and melts on your tongue, and the chocolate ice cream is so perfectly creamy. I love ice cream. I always crave ice cream. It could be -40 degrees, and I'd want ice cream. This is good ice cream. The cone is soft and chewy, which actually goes well with the creamy ice cream.

Why should you listen to me? I come from a city FAMOUS for ice cream. Graeter's ice cream in Cincinnati is beloved by celebrities and regular folk for being rich and creamy. THIS ICE CREAM RIVALS GRAETERS. It feels so naughty, which kinda feels good.

These cones come eight to a pack, and they're not individually wrapped. Good for the planet, bad for temptation. Of course I don't want to stop at just one, and at only 2 points, I could probably get away with having two. There's better things to spend points on, I have to keep repeating. These are a treat you don't have to feel guilty about!

Monday Weigh In: Week Two

So I weighed in this morning!

It was....not good. I was perfect on Monday and Tuesday, but then when I got sick, I got lazy. I wanted comfort foods, and it hurt too much to exercise. This weekend I was feeling better but still didn't get right back on plan, and now I'm paying for it.

Mostly I'm just mad at myself because I'm freaking paying for WW Online, and I basically just wasted a week's worth of money.  Looking at it that way suddenly made it a lot easier for me to get serious.

I start a new job today, which will also help. Getting out of the house and not sitting on my ass with the kitchen calling "Penny....come eat me..." will be a tremendous benefit. I've started running/walking in the morning (I've been perpetually stuck on the Couch to 5k week one plan -- I can't run longer than 30 seconds right now), and during my break this morning I went back to Zumba class! Hey, I've earned six activity points! Awesome.

Check back tomorrow for an AMAZING food review. Crave chocolate? You're gonna want to find these!

Giving In

I won't go into too much detail (I save that for my lucky LiveJournal friends), but Tuesday night I took a new-to-me pill and had a BAD reaction to it that left me up most of the night sitting on the couch whimpering in pain.

Sitting in the living room at 4 in the morning, watching anything at all on TV to get my mind off the pain, I gave in to cravings. I ate a bag of microwave popcorn, a Cadbury Creme Egg, and a bowl of shredded wheat. I tracked it!

Late Wednesday night the pain came back, and I spent a few hours in the urgent care. They gave me Oxycodone! God bless those doctors and their liberal pain medication policy. I knew I needed to eat something substantial before taking the Oxycodone or I'd just throw it all back up. When Boyfriend offered to get me Sonic, I didn't think "Hmmm, I should stick to my diet;" I just said "Popcorn chicken and mozzarella sticks, please!"

And I tracked it all. I went WAYY over my points, but amazingly I still have some flex points left for the week.

Frankly, I don't want to live in a world where the kind of pain I was in is not rewarded with a cherry limeade.

Junk Food Withdrawal

I hate aspartame. I hate fake sweeteners. And yet, I just gobbled up a Yoplait Light Fat Free Strawberry Shortcake yogurt like it was a dish of Ben and Jerry’s Volun-tiramisu ice cream (have you tried that shit yet? BEST. ICE CREAM. EVER.) I would have licked the inside of the yogurt container if I could have gotten my face all the way in there.

What is it about “officially” starting a diet that makes the food panic come? Suddenly today I’m starving. But I’m not starving. I’ve been binging for weeks, to the point that I make myself ill. Yesterday I ate moderately, trying to follow the plan, but still had some treats. Today, being no-more-excuses day, I am starving and panicked about getting enough food.

Also, my body is acting like I’m torturing it. I assure you, I’m eating plenty and including fruits and veggies – it’s only halfway through the day and I’ve had an apple and a banana. Yet when I tried to do a mere half hour of Zumba, my favorite go-to workout, my body tried to poop out at 10 minutes in. Shaking, tummy growling, I finished the half hour and earned my two damn activity points. If the afternoon storms cool the temperatures down, I’ll try and go for a walk later (it’s summer in the desert, no one does anything aerobic unless the sun is down or it’s storming).

It feels like the sugar/carb withdrawal you get with the South Beach Diet. I’ve had plenty of sugar and carbs today, but I haven’t overdone them. I didn’t realize how badly I’d messed my body up with the weeks of binging L Just trying to make it through today, and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Dieting – You’re Doing it Wrong

Nothing makes me snarkier than listening to someone who doesn’t know how to diet try and explain to others how their way is “totally gonna work” and obviously makes perfect scientific sense.

The basic premise of losing weight is Eat Fewer Calories than You Burn, but it’s not quite that simple. Last week I was having lunch with my aunt, and she was telling me how she was so bummed because she’d been working out two hours per day and only eating 1000 or fewer calories, and she still managed to gain a pound. NO SHIT. You are starving your body and sending it in to starvation mode. It’s going to hang on to every precious calorie you allow it. Not to mention you’re messing up your metabolism so even if you eat “normally,” your body will still want to hold on to calories.

An old college acquaintance of mine has recently begun following the new PointsPlus program, and is documenting her progress on FaceBook.  The last time I saw her, she was in the upper 200s. She is assigned 29 daily points, just as I am. The first three weeks she had very large losses, over 3 pounds each week. Last week she only lost a pound. So she has decided to take it into her own hands and cut down her points – now she’ll only eat 26 points until she’s over this “plateau.” I want to shake her.

1. One week does not a plateau make.
2. Are you exercising? At all? You might want to start there before you start cutting out points.
3. Normal, healthy weight loss is 1-2 pounds a week. YOU ARE DOING FINE. Losing more several weeks in a row is unhealthy, and if you couple it with no exercise, you’re gonna end up with a lot of loose skin. Trust me.
4. Going from 29 to 26 points is probably not going to mess up your body. But what about when  you hit a “plateau” on 26 points? How low are you willing to go?
5. Suck up a low loss week, eat a different variety of foods, and exercise more. Trust the damned program.

Look, I’ve been there. The Weight Watchers program can be particularly triggering to eating disorders, even if you’re not prone to them. I remember playing the “how few points can I eat in a day” game with the old system. The answer was eight. That is about 600 calories. That is fucked up. Starving yourself never leads to anything good. It either turns in to full-blown anorexia or it leads to a binge. Whatever diet plan you’re on, it was designed by marketers experts, so can you try to trust them for a measly four weeks?

The Continuing Journey

Here's the cliffs notes version of my last seven years of dieting.

I currently weigh 167 pounds, and my goal weight is 140 pounds. At 5'4", that's a moderate, healthy weight.

Looking taller than I really am on 7/10/11.

My highest weight ever was 265 pounds -- thanks to emotional eating and an abusive relationship.

Let's ignore the fact that I'm cosplaying...5/2002

I can't stop staring at my legs! They look like tree trunks!

My lowest weight was 147 pounds.

In French clothes, even! 1/2010

 I began making a concerted effort to lose weight in 2004.  I spent six months on the South Beach Diet, and I got down to about 240. I like the philosophy, but it just didn't work for me. I became hyperglycemic, shaky and ill. It defeats the purpose of avoiding sugars if it takes a Mountain Dew to bring my blood sugar back up.

I switched to the Weight Watchers plan in 2005. I attended meetings off and on, but mostly I did it on my own.

I was a hardcore Dance Dance Revolution player from 2005-2008, and I ended up in one of those supermarket magazines touting "Lose weight playing video games!" Jennifer Aniston was on the cover.

I am clearly not a professional model. 9/2008

My last two years of university in 2008/2009 were my most productive. I was going to class full time, working 30 hours a week, and still getting up at 6am to workout for a few hours before my 8:30am class. I'd get home from work after 9pm, do homework and crash. I was too busy to binge. On winter, spring and summer breaks however, when my frantic pace came to a crashing halt, I filled up the time with food.

I lived in France for the 2009/2010 school year, and my weight yo-yo'd from 164 to 147 and back to 164 by the time I got home. I was doing a lot of walking, but an eclair or chocolatine and a can of Oragnina do not a healthy breakfast make.

In fall 2010 I moved to Tucson. Grad school gave me daily panic attacks and dropped my weight back down to 150. A little extra work and I got it back to 147. But I've been unemployed for nearly 10 months, socially anxious, and spending a lot of time on the couch. When my boyfriend wants to eat junk food, I find it hard to say no. And so I've gained gained gained!

This is some crazy yo-yo'ing, yo. I'm ready to hit my goal weight and stay there. Sunday begins my newest journey with Weight Watchers Online.

What are your diet histories? Have you had success with WW Online or another plan? Let me know in the comments!