Quick way to drop 200+ pounds!

HEY!

Since I last blogged, I've been lucky enough to shed 220 pounds! It was so easy! All I had to do was dump my cheating, abusive boyfriend. As anyone with quick weight loss results knows, it's easy to gain those pounds back and then some, and there have definitely been days when I've been sad or lonely and missing that 220 pound lump of man hair that always left his clothes on the floor and never cleaned the kitchen. But I've stayed strong in my resolve, and I know I'm never taking him back or getting involved with anyone who doesn't respect me. Now let's just apply that resolve to eating healthy, because basically consistently eating crap isn't respecting myself, and what kind of role model am I for a future potential mate if they see I don't have any self-respect?

Note: I'm not saying I'm not respecting myself because I'm overweight. I'm saying it because I'm choosing to eat nothing but unhealthy foods and no vegetables for days on end. I'd rather be eating healthy and fat than eating crap and thin. That's why I no longer eat Lean Cuisines or processed diet junk. Now THAT is disrespecting your body!!

A few things coming up for this blog:

• A monthly challenge we can work on together
• VLOGS! See my fat face talking to you!
• ACTUAL POSTS. Because for realz, I need to keep up with this space.

Here's some snark: Someone today at my coffee shop ordered a sugar-free, non-fat latte in a size-larger cup with EXTRA whipped cream.  YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

Rodeo Week!

It's rodeo week in Tucson!!

Which is apparently kind of a big deal, but I wouldn't know, since I'm from the midwest. I know the a lot of the schools in the area close for the rodeo. We get to wear our western wear to work on Wednesday, but since I'm from Ohio, I'm just going to wear normal clothes.

I was trying to think of a way to link the Wild West and the rodeo to weight loss, but I just can't come up with anything. Unless I die of dysentery, but that's really more a pacific northwest thing. Lucky bastards.

This week! I was pretty good! I went to the gym four times, thus honoring my pact with Gympact. I can't wait to see how much money I get for last week; since I added an extra day, I get an extra share of the winnings. REALLY looking forward to that Hulu+ subscription!

Yesterday I weighed in four pounds down for the week. Which is very yay! And then there was the monkey bread. I really wanted to have a nice, homemade breakfast with Boyfriend -- I'd been thinking banana bread, these bananas in my kitchen are almost goo -- but he suggested monkey bread. Actually, he suggested french toast AND monkey bread, but I talked him back down to just the monkey bread.

(What the hell is monkey bread? Also called pull-apart bread, it's basically refrigerated biscuits, cinnamon, sugar, butter and brown sugar. SO GOOD. SO FULL OF FATTY CARBS.)

 

 

 

 

There's no way this is good for you.

At first I was good. I counted the calories for EVERYTHING I ate, even if it meant I used up most of my daily allotment by 2pm. But I discovered something, which is probably a very DUH realization, but it just hit home yesterday: empty carby sugar makes me HUNGRIER. I'd done pretty well with the hunger all week. I'll have you know I had NO ICE CREAM and DID NOT order pizza! But as soon as I had a serving of that monkey bread, I was ravenous. I went back several more times during the day, then ate dinner, had popcorn at the video store, and had MORE monkey bread.

As a result, my net loss for the week on the scale this morning was 2.6. I'm 183 even.

I have seen my enemy, and it is sugar. I even saw it a little with the lowfat frozen yogurt I bought. I could be full and satisfied, have a small helping of frozen yogurt to kill the ice cream craving, and then suddenly I was hungry again!

Now that I know my weakness, how am I going to avoid it? No ice cream and no pizza again this week (I did have one Lean Cuisine pizza last week, and it helped). No baking things I know I can't control myself with! There's leftover monkey crack, but I'm not eating any more of it. If I don't start, I won't lose control.

Four gym workouts this week is the goal. REALLY hoping to see the 170s by next Monday!

Oh Yeah, Stretching.

I had a great Valentine's Day last night! Boyfriend did his best to make sure I knew I was loved. He even made a special trip, at the end of an exhausting day at work, to a specialty cupcake shop to buy me the Valentine's cupcakes I wanted. <3 Then he came home and gave me the cupcakes, a card, roses, a GIANT box of candy, and made me a delicious dinner! I'm very lucky.

 

 

Now I feel bad, I just made him a mix CD

For dinner he made boiled artichokes. This is a dish we discovered we loved during vegetarian month last month. I knew I liked artichoke hearts in salad or cooked into other dishes, but I had no idea how amazingly delicious they were cooked fresh and dipped in garlic butter! Boyfriend is really branching out and becoming a great cook; at first all he knew how to make was baked tilapia (which is still yummy), but now he's made the artichokes and even lobster tail!

Turned into half an artichoke each because one fell on the floor upon removal from the pot :-(

I counted all the calories from yesterday, even though I went grossly over. Boyfriend decreed that the candy exemption was lifted for Valentine's Day, so I shoveled in way more of the candies than I should have. MMMMMMMM. Today the remainders go into work with me.

I had wanted to go swimming today, but my legs are omgsore. I did strength training with my friend Kai yesterday, and now I can barely move. I think today is a rest day. Although I do have a doctor's appointment later this evening, and it would be easier to bike down there than drive and try and find parking. Hopefully my legs can work well enough to pedal!

I think a lot of the pain is that I forgot to stretch before and most importantly after the workout. Angry muscles are angry.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I got up this morning and went to the gym! And I went yesterday! And now I'm very, very sore!! I had a great long workout yesterday, but today I just couldn't put in more than a half an hour. It doesn't help that it's a chilly, rainy day -- a rarity here in the desert, but it still affects my mood. 

Exercise helps my depression. Yesterday I felt really good about myself. Except then I was so drained I didn't do anything productive for the rest of the day. I need to build my endurance and strength back up. I want to be fit again!

Quick 'n easy cheesy

 Today's lunch is Trader Joe's brown rice with spinach sauteed with laughing cow light cheese. It was a quick and easy meal that I had a hankering for. And it uses up some foods that have been sitting in the pantry forever! I'm craving spinach. Maybe my iron's low.

Tonight Boyfriend is making me boiled artichokes. They are SOOO good, so good for me, and so low in calories! Of course, I dip them in garlic butter, but it's worth it. He may also be purchasing me a Valentine's cupcake. I've hinted.

 

Great new website!! Gym-Pact rewards you for going to the gym -- and punishes you if you don't. You make a pact saying how many days a week you'll go to the gym (minimum 3 days) and you pledge an amount you'll pay if you don't make your pact (minimum $5). At the end of the week, the company collects from those who didn't keep their pact and disburses it among those who did. I've earned $3.81 in two weeks! Yeah, you say, that won't even buy you a Starbucks drink, but here's my plan. If I can earn $8 a month, I can buy myself a Hulu Plus subscription, so I can watch tv....at the gym!

You get more shares of the money for more days pledged. This week I pledged 4 days a week, so I should get a little more. If there's any extra at the end of the month, I plan to save it for fitness gear. A heart rate monitor, new running shoes, etc. Every little bit helps, and it DEFINITELY helps me get my butt to the gym no matter what. I can't afford not to keep my pact!

Fall Down, Get Up, Keep Going

I'm frustrated. I'm making the same stupid mistakes -- rookie mistakes -- and as a result I've gained weight every week so far this month. I've been bouncing back and forth between diets and sticking to none of them. I'm just gonna count calories! No...I'm gonna do slimfast and count calories! No...I need to go back to Weight Watchers. No...I'm gonna do clean eating (that one didn't last out the day). No...I'm gonna do low-sugar!

 

Seriously? Just pick a fucking way of eating and stick with it. Because it's really not a diet. It's a way of eating for the REST OF MY LIFE.

 

I'm too fat and nothing fits!

 

 

I'll be honest, I've been using the MyFitnessPal app this year, and it has helped. For a week there my pants were even fitting more loosely! I wasn't tracking fruits or vegetables, however, giving them to myself as "freebies," and I think that stalled any real progress.

 

I've been reading other weight-loss blogs and fitness blogs all day for inspiration, to rejuvenate my passion for healthy eating, exercise, and weight loss. 110 Pounds and Counting has been really helpful. She lost weight by counting calories, and went through a lot of the same metamorphasis I did -- starting with convenience packaged, processed diet foods and moving to making meals and whole foods. I hope I can someday be as inspirational as she is. In 2003 I weighed 265 pounds, and in February 2011 I weighed 147. Today I weigh 185. I can lose weight -- I lost over 100 pounds and kept it off for years. I'm horrified at how much has creeped back on, and that just makes me want to eat.

 

Here are two of the biggest dangers: Ice cream and pizza. I have long said if I can't have these in my life, I don't want to bother living, but they are HUGE trigger foods. When the Boyfriend and I get a pizza, I can eat no fewer than 4 slices. Of a large! With extra cheese! I usually give up tracking on MyFitnessApp on those days. I've actually been pretty good about portioning ice cream (though eyeballing it, not measuring), but when the ice cream I eat has 300 calories for 1/2 cup, that's just so much wasted calories.

 

(Boyfriend and I are doing No Candy this month, so that may be adding to my sweet cravings)

 

For a week -- just ONE week! -- I'm not going to order pizza or buy ice cream. You know what I can have? A Lean Cuisine pizza (portion controlled). My favorite is the Spinach and Mushroom. I can buy LOWFAT frozen yogurt and the new Cuties made with coconut milk. I hope this will help me get over the hump and tone down my addictions to these foods. At the end of one week, if I''ve made it, well let's see if I can do it for another week, and then see how long I can go! (Actually, this is how I learned to drop fast food. "You know, I haven't had Wendy's in two months! Let's see if I can go another month. Let's see if I can go five months. You know, I really don't need to go back." Haven't since 2008.)

 

Verboten!!

 

 

I'm aiming to exercise four times a week. I'm working on a post about that.

 

Also, I'm going to take PICTURES of ME. I used to do a "day in the life" photoblogs all the time. I was okay with having my picture taken. But my Facebook icon now is from September 2011. I'm so embarrased with how I look I haven't kept a picture of myself in months. But if I FORCE myself to look at me as I really am, I can no longer kid myself about my weight (like the only four or five shirts that fit me that I rotate every week aren't hilarious enough).

 

How many times do I have to start over? Until I get it right.

Making It

I've successfully made it to day five with no cheating except a bite of a piece of blue cheese the Boyfriend gave me when he wanted to discern whether or not it was a piece of cheese (he's lactose intolerant). I ate a small bite and set the rest of the piece aside. In the grand scheme it probably really wouldn't have mattered if I ate an entire crumble of cheese, but I needed to know for myself that I could stick this out.

I'll be honest, the knowledge that binge day is tomorrow has done a lot to help keep me on track. This is the longest I've made it on a low carb diet in years. I can't see doing strict low/no-carb for an extended period of time. I need a break.

AND OH, HOW I SHALL FEAST!! I went to the store today and bought bananas, cupcakes, brownie mix, caramel apples and canned frosting. And popcorn. And I'll probably have a pizza. AND NO MEAT. God, I am sick to death of meat.

I hope this binge thing works. I know it's not the best theory health-wise. For someone who already has binging problems, giving them the go-ahead to binge their heart out once a week? Not addressing any underlying issues that got me where I am. But I'm doing this now because I need a strict plan I can stick to in order to get this weight off. I've lost four pounds so far this week, and I'd love to drop another one or two.

We'll see how weigh-in goes on Monday! At the very least I'd love to see a change in my body fat percentage, because last Monday's was a huge eye-opener.

Vacation

 

 

 

An idyllic lunch.

Boyfriend and I spent the weekend at a local resort in celebration of our one-year anniversary together. It was a vacation, and I ate without tracking points.

I'm not the type to say, "Well, I'm on vacation, but dieting, so I'll just have a salad and water." I think, "I'm on vacation, and there are some award-winning pastries to be eaten!" This isn't to say that all efforts towards health go out the window, but I love food. If I have a chance to taste something I probably won't get a chance to taste again, I want to eat it. I believe in Eating to Live and Loving Life. It's the reason horribly restrictive diets don't work well for me (South Beach, Atkins, anything saying NO). If you tell me I can never have a piece of cake again, well I'd rather just stay fat.

I did exercise; I earned 31 Activity Points for the week, which is the most I've been able to earn so far. Friday morning I ran, and then we swam at night. Saturday we went on a 4.5 mile hike in the canyon during the hottest part of the day and swam at night, and Sunday I swam laps in the morning. This is all more physical activity than I've been able to keep up in a long time, and I want to keep it going! They say it takes 21 days to make a habit, so I'm trying to work out for 21 days in a row. Seven days down, 14 to go!

Monday Weigh In: Week Three

I weighed in this morning and discovered I lost four pounds! Four down, 24 to go. I noticed yesterday that my "fat" shorts were feeling loose as I was jumping around on the Dance Dance Revolution pad. I was even able to eat almost "normally" over the weekend thanks to my Weekly Points, going to get frozen yogurt, spaghetti and meat sauce, and pizza.

I worked out five days last week, and I feel like that's a good number. The body really does need a day or two of rest, although I might add some strength training on those days. Shooting for five days of workouts this week, if my body will let me...

I dutifully got up at 7:30am to go to Zumba class this morning. Fine, no problems. As soon as I get there, I realize my right knee is hurting. I did the whole class, but at low intensity. When I got home my knee was swollen, so now I'm elevating it and alternating between ice and hot packs. Boyfriend has been very helpful getting me food and packs and drinks. I'm going to have to eat the broccoli and cheese pack that's been melting on my knee for the last hour.

Speaking of drinks, I haven't had any alcohol in a week. I'm as shocked as you are. Especially since I have Caramel Bailey's in my fridge. So much wine, left undrunk! It's a crying shame. But until I get into the next level of 10s, I'm not going to drink my calories. Sorry, Caramel Bailey's. You're just going to have to sit in the fridge and be delicious by yourself.

Giving In

I won't go into too much detail (I save that for my lucky LiveJournal friends), but Tuesday night I took a new-to-me pill and had a BAD reaction to it that left me up most of the night sitting on the couch whimpering in pain.

Sitting in the living room at 4 in the morning, watching anything at all on TV to get my mind off the pain, I gave in to cravings. I ate a bag of microwave popcorn, a Cadbury Creme Egg, and a bowl of shredded wheat. I tracked it!

Late Wednesday night the pain came back, and I spent a few hours in the urgent care. They gave me Oxycodone! God bless those doctors and their liberal pain medication policy. I knew I needed to eat something substantial before taking the Oxycodone or I'd just throw it all back up. When Boyfriend offered to get me Sonic, I didn't think "Hmmm, I should stick to my diet;" I just said "Popcorn chicken and mozzarella sticks, please!"

And I tracked it all. I went WAYY over my points, but amazingly I still have some flex points left for the week.

Frankly, I don't want to live in a world where the kind of pain I was in is not rewarded with a cherry limeade.

The "L" Word

This might be my biggest pet peeve in all the diet-verse. It’s Hooked on Phonics 101, people. When you lose weight, your clothes become loose. Nothing makes me judge you harder than misspelling this word (unless you spell "dessert" as "desert." I live in the desert. It is not a sweet treat). One “o” makes the z sound. Two make the s sound. It’s so prevalent throughout the online weight communities, that I think smart people are actually beginning to doubt themselves and start using the wrong word.

Nowhere, however, have I seen anything as bad as this one acquaintance I used to know. She was successful on Weight Watchers, and even became an employee. But she always used to say both online and out loud that she “loss” 50 pounds. A friend of mine used to joke that she must have lost the “t” somewhere in there too. This was the same girl who told us she didn’t want to eat at a Thai restaurant because she didn’t like “thigh” food.

I'm not saying everyone on the internet needs to be a spelling bee winner, but if you're a part of a certain community, it would behoove you to be able to properly spell key words.

My boyfriend would like to add the point that we shouldn't be saying "lose" weight anyway, as that plants the thought in our mind that it's something we need to find and get back, generally in a half gallon of ice cream. He recommends switching to "closer to my target weight." All hail the power of positive thinking!