Rodeo Week!

It's rodeo week in Tucson!!

Which is apparently kind of a big deal, but I wouldn't know, since I'm from the midwest. I know the a lot of the schools in the area close for the rodeo. We get to wear our western wear to work on Wednesday, but since I'm from Ohio, I'm just going to wear normal clothes.

I was trying to think of a way to link the Wild West and the rodeo to weight loss, but I just can't come up with anything. Unless I die of dysentery, but that's really more a pacific northwest thing. Lucky bastards.

This week! I was pretty good! I went to the gym four times, thus honoring my pact with Gympact. I can't wait to see how much money I get for last week; since I added an extra day, I get an extra share of the winnings. REALLY looking forward to that Hulu+ subscription!

Yesterday I weighed in four pounds down for the week. Which is very yay! And then there was the monkey bread. I really wanted to have a nice, homemade breakfast with Boyfriend -- I'd been thinking banana bread, these bananas in my kitchen are almost goo -- but he suggested monkey bread. Actually, he suggested french toast AND monkey bread, but I talked him back down to just the monkey bread.

(What the hell is monkey bread? Also called pull-apart bread, it's basically refrigerated biscuits, cinnamon, sugar, butter and brown sugar. SO GOOD. SO FULL OF FATTY CARBS.)

 

 

 

 

There's no way this is good for you.

At first I was good. I counted the calories for EVERYTHING I ate, even if it meant I used up most of my daily allotment by 2pm. But I discovered something, which is probably a very DUH realization, but it just hit home yesterday: empty carby sugar makes me HUNGRIER. I'd done pretty well with the hunger all week. I'll have you know I had NO ICE CREAM and DID NOT order pizza! But as soon as I had a serving of that monkey bread, I was ravenous. I went back several more times during the day, then ate dinner, had popcorn at the video store, and had MORE monkey bread.

As a result, my net loss for the week on the scale this morning was 2.6. I'm 183 even.

I have seen my enemy, and it is sugar. I even saw it a little with the lowfat frozen yogurt I bought. I could be full and satisfied, have a small helping of frozen yogurt to kill the ice cream craving, and then suddenly I was hungry again!

Now that I know my weakness, how am I going to avoid it? No ice cream and no pizza again this week (I did have one Lean Cuisine pizza last week, and it helped). No baking things I know I can't control myself with! There's leftover monkey crack, but I'm not eating any more of it. If I don't start, I won't lose control.

Four gym workouts this week is the goal. REALLY hoping to see the 170s by next Monday!

Right Track

So I don't want to jinx myself, but I seem to be doing pretty well this week! I've been PERFECTLY on plan for three out of four days, and on Valentine's Day I still tracked everything I ate and exercised that morning! Morning weigh-ins confirm I am down a couple pounds, although I'll get my official weigh-in Monday morning. Yesterday at work I resisted a CUPCAKE. CUPCAKE. It was a grocery store cupcake; if it had been gourmet, I totally would have caved.

Exercise has involved my two favorites: swimming and Zumba, although sporadically. I'm also running 3-4 times a week and doing strength training! Oh, so much strength training. My friend Kai, a crossfit guru, has been helping me with my form and encouraging me to use heavier weights. Tuesday we did lunges and squats, and my legs STILL hurt! Wednesday was the worst; I could barely move at all, and I declared that day a rest day.

Kai and her fiancee Sarah met me at the gym last night for some heavy lifting. I'd already been to the gym that morning for my cardio. I tried logging into Gympact, but apparently they think you can only work out once a day. DENIED.

"This is for my blog" "Well then shouldn't we be doing something?"

Sarah doing a super-impressive back squat

You will notice there are NO WEIGHTS on my bar. I can only handle the 45-pound bar itself.

 Yeah, I'm starting from scratch with the strength training. Four years ago I'd built up a bit of muscle, but it is gone, gone, gone, turned into fleshy fat and loose skin. I really appreciate the support and encouragement I get when I strength train with my friends. They keep me in proper form and give me new exercises to try!

I have a huge blocking fear of the deadlift. Many years ago I did it -- INCORRECTLY -- and I threw my back out. For over a week I was barely able to move, limping from class to work, and sitting on a heating pad all day. It was terrible. I really want to strengthen my back in other ways before I give it another try. This is just a reminder of how important correct form is when using weights. Improper form can, at best, just not work out the muscles enough and at worst, fuck you up painfully.

Boyfriend was out last night, so I made myself a dinner. Two turkey burgers cooked on the George Forman grill. I like watching the fatty bits drip off and into the tray. No bun, but reduced fat mayo with olive oil. I will sacrifice bread for mayo. Also Kraft sharp cheddar slices, ketchup and pickles. As you can see, I was starving and couldn't wait to take the first bite.

The weekend is coming, and that brings a new set of challenges. You see, at my crappy job, I work ALL DAY, ALL WEEKEND. 10 hours each day. It is very dull, and in the past I've grazed on junk all day just to make it through. Preparing to keep myself happy and full for the weekend has taken a lot of ADVANCED PLANNING. I already know what I'm going to eat through 7pm on Saturday. Snacks and such will be packed tonight, to save me time in the a.m.

How do you plan ahead for long days? I'd much rather have an array of snacks I may not eat than run out and be desperate enough to raid the vending machine. What do you do when you run out of healthy snacks? Do you suck down more water and pee every 10 minutes (burning calories running to the restroom!) or do you cave and find the least evil thing in the vending machine?

Oh Yeah, Stretching.

I had a great Valentine's Day last night! Boyfriend did his best to make sure I knew I was loved. He even made a special trip, at the end of an exhausting day at work, to a specialty cupcake shop to buy me the Valentine's cupcakes I wanted. <3 Then he came home and gave me the cupcakes, a card, roses, a GIANT box of candy, and made me a delicious dinner! I'm very lucky.

 

 

Now I feel bad, I just made him a mix CD

For dinner he made boiled artichokes. This is a dish we discovered we loved during vegetarian month last month. I knew I liked artichoke hearts in salad or cooked into other dishes, but I had no idea how amazingly delicious they were cooked fresh and dipped in garlic butter! Boyfriend is really branching out and becoming a great cook; at first all he knew how to make was baked tilapia (which is still yummy), but now he's made the artichokes and even lobster tail!

Turned into half an artichoke each because one fell on the floor upon removal from the pot :-(

I counted all the calories from yesterday, even though I went grossly over. Boyfriend decreed that the candy exemption was lifted for Valentine's Day, so I shoveled in way more of the candies than I should have. MMMMMMMM. Today the remainders go into work with me.

I had wanted to go swimming today, but my legs are omgsore. I did strength training with my friend Kai yesterday, and now I can barely move. I think today is a rest day. Although I do have a doctor's appointment later this evening, and it would be easier to bike down there than drive and try and find parking. Hopefully my legs can work well enough to pedal!

I think a lot of the pain is that I forgot to stretch before and most importantly after the workout. Angry muscles are angry.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I got up this morning and went to the gym! And I went yesterday! And now I'm very, very sore!! I had a great long workout yesterday, but today I just couldn't put in more than a half an hour. It doesn't help that it's a chilly, rainy day -- a rarity here in the desert, but it still affects my mood. 

Exercise helps my depression. Yesterday I felt really good about myself. Except then I was so drained I didn't do anything productive for the rest of the day. I need to build my endurance and strength back up. I want to be fit again!

Quick 'n easy cheesy

 Today's lunch is Trader Joe's brown rice with spinach sauteed with laughing cow light cheese. It was a quick and easy meal that I had a hankering for. And it uses up some foods that have been sitting in the pantry forever! I'm craving spinach. Maybe my iron's low.

Tonight Boyfriend is making me boiled artichokes. They are SOOO good, so good for me, and so low in calories! Of course, I dip them in garlic butter, but it's worth it. He may also be purchasing me a Valentine's cupcake. I've hinted.

 

Great new website!! Gym-Pact rewards you for going to the gym -- and punishes you if you don't. You make a pact saying how many days a week you'll go to the gym (minimum 3 days) and you pledge an amount you'll pay if you don't make your pact (minimum $5). At the end of the week, the company collects from those who didn't keep their pact and disburses it among those who did. I've earned $3.81 in two weeks! Yeah, you say, that won't even buy you a Starbucks drink, but here's my plan. If I can earn $8 a month, I can buy myself a Hulu Plus subscription, so I can watch tv....at the gym!

You get more shares of the money for more days pledged. This week I pledged 4 days a week, so I should get a little more. If there's any extra at the end of the month, I plan to save it for fitness gear. A heart rate monitor, new running shoes, etc. Every little bit helps, and it DEFINITELY helps me get my butt to the gym no matter what. I can't afford not to keep my pact!

Fall Down, Get Up, Keep Going

I'm frustrated. I'm making the same stupid mistakes -- rookie mistakes -- and as a result I've gained weight every week so far this month. I've been bouncing back and forth between diets and sticking to none of them. I'm just gonna count calories! No...I'm gonna do slimfast and count calories! No...I need to go back to Weight Watchers. No...I'm gonna do clean eating (that one didn't last out the day). No...I'm gonna do low-sugar!

 

Seriously? Just pick a fucking way of eating and stick with it. Because it's really not a diet. It's a way of eating for the REST OF MY LIFE.

 

I'm too fat and nothing fits!

 

 

I'll be honest, I've been using the MyFitnessPal app this year, and it has helped. For a week there my pants were even fitting more loosely! I wasn't tracking fruits or vegetables, however, giving them to myself as "freebies," and I think that stalled any real progress.

 

I've been reading other weight-loss blogs and fitness blogs all day for inspiration, to rejuvenate my passion for healthy eating, exercise, and weight loss. 110 Pounds and Counting has been really helpful. She lost weight by counting calories, and went through a lot of the same metamorphasis I did -- starting with convenience packaged, processed diet foods and moving to making meals and whole foods. I hope I can someday be as inspirational as she is. In 2003 I weighed 265 pounds, and in February 2011 I weighed 147. Today I weigh 185. I can lose weight -- I lost over 100 pounds and kept it off for years. I'm horrified at how much has creeped back on, and that just makes me want to eat.

 

Here are two of the biggest dangers: Ice cream and pizza. I have long said if I can't have these in my life, I don't want to bother living, but they are HUGE trigger foods. When the Boyfriend and I get a pizza, I can eat no fewer than 4 slices. Of a large! With extra cheese! I usually give up tracking on MyFitnessApp on those days. I've actually been pretty good about portioning ice cream (though eyeballing it, not measuring), but when the ice cream I eat has 300 calories for 1/2 cup, that's just so much wasted calories.

 

(Boyfriend and I are doing No Candy this month, so that may be adding to my sweet cravings)

 

For a week -- just ONE week! -- I'm not going to order pizza or buy ice cream. You know what I can have? A Lean Cuisine pizza (portion controlled). My favorite is the Spinach and Mushroom. I can buy LOWFAT frozen yogurt and the new Cuties made with coconut milk. I hope this will help me get over the hump and tone down my addictions to these foods. At the end of one week, if I''ve made it, well let's see if I can do it for another week, and then see how long I can go! (Actually, this is how I learned to drop fast food. "You know, I haven't had Wendy's in two months! Let's see if I can go another month. Let's see if I can go five months. You know, I really don't need to go back." Haven't since 2008.)

 

Verboten!!

 

 

I'm aiming to exercise four times a week. I'm working on a post about that.

 

Also, I'm going to take PICTURES of ME. I used to do a "day in the life" photoblogs all the time. I was okay with having my picture taken. But my Facebook icon now is from September 2011. I'm so embarrased with how I look I haven't kept a picture of myself in months. But if I FORCE myself to look at me as I really am, I can no longer kid myself about my weight (like the only four or five shirts that fit me that I rotate every week aren't hilarious enough).

 

How many times do I have to start over? Until I get it right.